Relationships- Myth Vs Reality

Relationships play a very important role in our life. Perhaps that's why its said that human beings are social animals. But lately as I see around, I feel we either take relationships for granted or are too scared to be in one. 

There was a time when guys used to behave like "Casanovas" and wouldn't mind being in a relationship with more than one women. However of late, I have seen men going any length to make a relationship work.  Broadly speaking, there are two categories of men who exist in this world, one who are kind and emotional and would do anything to make the relationship work. And the second kind would  be those who have been hurt in the past and want nothing to do with commitments. These guys want to live in the moment. Women who meet the second type of men unfortunately fail in their best attempts to make their relationship work.  

Since the time women have started working and being independent, things have alarmingly come to a point where questions are being raised on the need for a man in their lives. The point isn't that we cannot survive without them. At the end of the day, we all need someone to share our day with. Just imagine if our parents would have thought like the way we think these days.

Most of my male friends are these amazing people who are good at heart but had met all the wrong women. I have also known women who are kind hearted, sweet and simple people who give their best to make a relationship work but have met men who have cheated on them and broken their trust. The blog isn't about men vs women. It's just to make my point that people should give each other a chance and not generalize. 

So my advice to all the men and women out there is -- don't give up on love because of your past. Let the past be in the past. If you let it interfere with the present, then it would spoil your present and future.  If you come across people who take you for granted or hurt you, remember Karma is a bitch and I can vouch for that.

Dating in Today's Generation

Dating these days has become so common that a while back I was thinking of creating an mobile application geared toward dating. Being a single and independent woman who lives away from her family, I don't mind meeting someone for dinner, coffee or a drink. At the end of the day, all I am looking for in this world is companionship. In order to understand how dating apps works or whether there is market for them, I downloaded a couple of applications such as Tinder, OkCupid, and Hinge.

My experience with Tinder has been the best since I met couple of decent people with whom I could be friends in case the date doesn't work out. However, 90% of the guys were on it for just a hook up or one night stands. The sad part about this is that Tinder had started out with the intention of enabling people meet someone special but ended up being nothing more than a place for one night stands. One more thing I found was that the number of married people on the application was too high. I don't have any problem if a married person is looking to make friends however I feel Tinder isn't the place for that. Not all is bad with Tinder, it doesn't let any random stranger to message you. Unless there is a mutual liking you cannot message each other.  One more thing which I found was that there are many girls on Tinder however nobody bothers messaging or knowing someone. Many of my guy friends keep complaining about the same and I agree with them, if you are not interested in getting to know someone you should just delete the application.

OkCupid wasn't that great. The application's chat sucks big time and random strangers can message you and I wasn't comfortable with this.

If I were to build a application on dating, I would want the mobile app to be for someone who is looking for love or relationship. I know its cheesy but I am still positive that love does exist.  It would be a app in which there would be different categories for different people who have different dating preferences. Love sees no age, anybody can find love or companionship. You can do a search as per your age preferences.  This app would allow you to search for someone who is the same city based on the location preferences. One more thing, I want to make different in my app is that there would a security measure which would verify whether the person is actually who he is. It could be as simple as someone adding a valid document or  check conducted via a phone call. This feature would allow the girls to feel more secure in terms of being on a app. 

Also, people cannot send more than five messages to five new people in a day, this would give time for them to know someone rather than just simply liking someone and not bother to message or talk. My application would help you login via facebook which would be good because in that case you don't have to fill in all the information. There would be some specific questions which would allow people to know little bit about the person rather than just liking their pictures and swiping right. The chat application would be better than other applications.
 
Once you have spoken to someone and are comfortable meeting them, my app would allow you to book a ticket for a movie or make a reservation for dinner or lunch or simply coffee so that you can know each other better.  The app would link movie theaters and coffee shops, thus getting them more business. In order to make the app more successful there could be events like speed dating which all the people on the application can attend and meet someone face to face. 

Hopefully in the near future I would be able to work on this application and bring more love into people's life. 

Relationships... Has anyone figured it out...

I am 31 years old and about to be 32 and by Indian standards I should have been married by now. It's not that I did not have my share of boyfriends or crushes. But sometimes I wonder how the older generation made relationships work. The older generation never had Internet or cell phone but still had better understanding, patience and maturity for relationships.

People of my generation would rather give up than work on a relationship for to make it successful. My parents have been married for more than 25 years and for most of their married life, my dad was posted in another city. I used to wonder how they made it work. It's not that they did not have problems but they never let the arguments or disagreements go to the next day.

Also it was all about the commitment my parents made to each other. They never went to sleep without talking for at least 10 mins each day.  In today’s world in spite of having the best of technology,  people don't talk about their feelings, disagreements or simply the thought saying I miss you or I love you.

I feel we have taken relationships for granted. Some people ask me why should I say I love you. She or he knows but the question isn't whether she or he knows it. It's just about saying it. Where have the days gone when going for a walk holding hands or having pani puri on the roadside together was considered romantic. People of this generation are all about showing off. Whether it's a date or wedding. I feel people fail to make relationships work because they never set up expectations when they get into one.  Wouldn't it be better if we tell each other what we expect from the other person clearly.

My suggestion to this generation is just express your feelings, disagreements or our expectations from each other. This would save a lot of time and effort which would be good for your relationships.

Change.... A big word

Change is such a big word and everyone has a different way of looking at it. You must be wondering  why I am talking about change today. Someone asked me the other day that did I ever change from what I was 5 years ago. The first thing I was thinking is am I supposed to change.

I was under the impression is that people are supposed to like us the way we are is change really that important for our growth.  If I compare myself with what I was five years ago then yes I did change but the person who knows me now will not be able to know that unless I say it. The question is whether the change I see myself is good or bad but I feel it depends on how you looking at it.

Coming to how have I changed. Five years ago I was somebody who did not know how to live alone, far away from her family and her friends,out of her comfort zone. l know for someone who is from this generation it's a common thing but for me it's a huge step because of which I have changed to become a more confident person who can handle herself  in good and bad situations but underneath all these changes, I am still emotionally connected to my family, for me that's not a bad thing at all however for some who are not emotional may think that it is not a good thing. 

You might ask me here why should I care about what people think because these people are my friends, family and people who you have been close to, yes what they think matters to me because they are my people. They are my support.

In the end what matters is not everyone is gonna be happy about your changes and do not have to agree with your changes. What matters is they love you for you are whether you changed or not.